Four to Six Weeks

headache-1540220__340Well, well, well, Wellbutrin … I think perhaps you may not be the medication for me. The doctor said it’s supposed to give me some get up and go; but, since I’ve been on it, mostly what I’ve wanted to do (and mostly what I’ve done) is lie down and sleep. He’s a new doctor, but he seems very open to making changes based on my response to medications, so hopefully he won’t want to do the “try another month” approach.

I wish these meds would just live up to the clever little names given to them by Pharmatropolis. Wellbutrin should make me well, Abilify should give me the ability to do things, Effexor should have some effect and Topamax should make me better to the max (although, I do enjoy it’s weight loss properties, so we’re still buds). They should be forced to refer to these drugs by their medical name or give them names that are more realistic, like: It’s-Worth-A-Shot-ify, Helps-Some-Not-Others-itan or Eeny-Meeny-Minny-Moe-acin.

I wonder if it’s harder to treat ex-druggie people like me because we’re so used to the instant effects of drugs not prescribed for our particular brand of affliction, but used to treat it nonetheless. I would imagine it’s frustrating or anyone suffering from depression, or any other mental malady, to have to keep playing the “wait and see” game. I mean, if a person had food poisoning and was told they would continue heaving their guts out for four to six weeks to see if the remedy worked, they would be unhappy with that news. And even unhappier if, after the wait, it was discovered that a new attempt would be necessary.

But when you’re used to a pill or line or puff or drink having the intended effect in an acceptable time span, the idea that something faster acting and more reliable just seems stupid and unimaginable. Not to beat a much used comparison to death, but if users of Viagra or Cialis had to wait four to six weeks for their boner to make an appearance, I doubt the pills would be as successful as they are today.

This is selfish of me, because there are people suffering from conditions far worse than my own, but I wish bipolar depression was the limp dick of mental illness so someone would come up with a pill to fix it.


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